Moving on Down to Struggle Street

the night is always darkest just before the dawn.

The Talented Mr. Fisher

Ba-dum-bump!

Troof.

Still considering the bartending course. I've found that I don't need to invest in a student visa for any courses under 3 months (That's good!), but I'm not 100% sold on where the course is offered (That's bad!). Embedded music in your website + annoying dropdown flash menus kind of screams scam to me. Buyer beware!
Don't worry I'll being my research before investing my time and money. But if everything looks legit I'm pretty much going for it.

It's been an absolutely gorgeous week, I think this officially counts as summer. I've been out on the deck for at least a couple hours daily (gettin' real dark) and just lazing about otherwise. Had a lil seaside picnic with my friend Tess yesterday, might go for a stroll and an ice cream or something today.

Life is so hard.
The Talented Mr. Fisher

Guy Fawkes yourself!

A thousand apologies for how infrequently I've been posting. I'm honestly trying to fix this but its the easiest thing to put on the back burner y'know? (Also, I've made .81 cents from enabling ads, so I can't live the dream of full-time blogger just quite yet. Maybe if I throw in some celebrity gossip...)
Anyways, it's been yet another week, so what's up in the life of Elliot?
Firstly, I had finished my last post on the morning after Halloween, and if you know me at all (Hi mom!) you know that I love me some costumed adventure. So at the back of my mind during the Dunedin trip, along with the nagging feeling that I still needed to lock down a job was the fact that it was Oct 26th and I still hadn't even thought up a costume idea. Problematic to say the least. It wasn't really until I arrived home that it all came to me in a flash of insight. I was going to be the star of one of my most favorite recent movies, and possibly the most charming anthropomorphic gentleman ever.

I was going to be The Fantastic Mr. Fox! O.K. I know, I'm really into being called 'Mr.' these days, so what? That doesn't really mean anything does it?

It took the better part of four days, some luck with finding the right pieces at the right times, but I feel I really managed to pull it off perfectly. Even better than those promotional videos from last year.

Yes, that is eye makeup. As Alan would say, that is truly "Suffering for one's art."

The tie doubles as a tail! Or does the tail double as a tie?

Impressed? You should be, or at least pretending to be. I have feelings too.
I headed out on the town with Miriam and Phylli...errr I meant "Bruce" and "Robbo". Their costumes were a little more obvious:

DAD?!

Brucie in full effect. Mothers, lock up your daughters!

As for the night itself, we bounced around from house party to house party. Eventually face paint wore off, costumes disintegrated into the blackness of night, and I degenerated to the point of trying to eat a kebab through my mask. All in all it was a fun night, but compared to the tales I've heard from back home? Halloween has a loooooooooong way to go before it's a true holiday up in here.

Post-halloweenies: I finally received a callback from a job. Can you guess the poetic justice that is about to occur? Yep, I'm back on the Levi's train, and this time in sales. God in heaven help me! But a job is a job right? And it's way cooler than that terrible store back home, I just couldn't stand anyone there (jokes). But seriously, it's a small store and stuff is mad expensive, but there's a good little team there (only 6 of us total? MAAAAAAAADNESS) and it's really really good to be working again. I've been looking for dishwashing or bar-back work in the meanwhile, something to tie up my nights as well as supplement my income. No such luck yet but I'm hopeful that something will turn up. Maybe a bartending course is in the cards, I'm considering it. Regardless, this at least means that I can pay my rent, and not get cabin fever from being bored and inside all the time.

Just this last friday was Guy Fawkes day. It's kind of a big deal here, in the U.K. as well. For those of you who don't know what its about, go watch V for Vendetta for the mild history lesson. Or Wiki that, I'm not getting into detail. What is important however, is everyone goes a little nuts and decides to light off fireworks. The city council annually blows up a large section of sky directly over the harbor, and for a full 12 minutes we were rapt with attention, the only sound being the Ooh's and Aah's from everyone around us. I'm not going turncoat on everyone, but this shit beats the symphony of fire any damn day.

Obviously I managed to get only blurry shots.

And of course they're of the most unimpressive parts. Yep, photog extraordinaire here. No big deal.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur, but included us crashing a private function and assuming that drinks were on the house, and proceeding to attempt to walk out on a round of $16 cocktails. Yet again we ended up at Mighty, and yet again I hit Welcome takeaways on the way home. Just like clockwork!

That basically brings us to today, we're having a little meeting tonight to determine the future of the flat as some parties are moving out in December. For the time being Henry, Miriam and myself are going to be sticking around. Which means some new flatmates! Exciting no? But that's ages away by my standards, so let's not worry about that right just yet.

I'll try to provide a couple more bite-size tidbit posts from here on out. Again my apologies for keeping the world in wait while I waste my hours laying in the sun or otherwise lounging around the house.
Regards,
The Talented Mr. Fisher

Oh no you Dunedin't! (Part 2 of 2)

Welp, here we are with the promised part 2. It occurred to me that the best part of breaking something up into parts is that you do less in one sitting, and the worst part is that you're obligated to finish what you started.
WAIT! Don't go!
It's not that I don't want to tell you all about the trip, its just that I lost my steam. I should have just kept writing til 3 am. Let's see if I can recapture the magic. Maybe some pictures will jog my memory.
(I apologize in advance if I'm coming off as that uncle that keeps coming by with slides of his vacation in Tahiti. The one who immediately upon arrival asks if you've got anything in the fridge and then puts his feet up on the coffee table. I'm not trying to be "that guy". I'm just working off the old [picture=thousandwords] bit. this saves me a lot of work.)

The first of many many many sheep I saw. Eventually I had tired myself out in the backseat from "Awwwwwwwww"-ing too much.

So we landed with Phillip (Miriam's bro-ski) and Kate (his ladyfriend) in tow, we were promptly greeted at the airport by our guide for the weekend: Lily. Now a quick aside on Lily:

This is one hard-up chick, she will make you sleep in the car, go barefoot and a million other things that a city-boy such as myself is terribly terribly uncomfortable with. However, this does not breed resentment, but the very opposite. She hippie-charmed her way into my heart over the course of the weekend and I can proudly say I now have friends in multiple NZ cities.

Lily's feet. Not shown: Lily

So we had transportation! The entirety of the South Island was at our command! First stop was the farmers market for an amaaaaaaazing crepe (made by real french people? madness!) and to meet up with Miriam's folks (Wendy and Leslie, and no, she doesn't have two moms). Things got a bit muddled for a bit and there was a quick round of pass-the-Elliot. And I finally decided upon heading out with Miriam and mum. In hindsight, maybe I should have headed with Lily, Phillip and Kate. The next 5 hours was a literal train of dresses, hats, shoes, more dresses, shopping shopping shopping. I managed to occupy myself by having at least 3 coffees around town (this place has turned me into an addict!) and reading whatever magazines the stores had on hand, I now know everything that you could possibly want to know about the Beckham's ailing marriage. Great.

But, we were victorious! Mirri came out with a boatload of stuff, so did her mom. And Elliot? Too poor to afford anything (more like nothing of note really came up) and caffeine addled. Not bad for a mid-afternoon, hey?

Mirri's new hat and our lovely host/chauffeur Lily.

Plans were made for dinner, and us youngsters were once again free to explore the wonders of Dunedin. And what is more wondrous than the Guinness World Record holding steepest street in the world!

Baldwin Street. I pity any child living at the top, they never asked for this life.

And did we climb that shit? Hells yeah we did! Mirri ran maybe half the distance, I chugged along slowly. All the while playing the Rocky theme in my head. Epic.

The next afternoon was the wedding, so it was up to me and Lily to find adventure by ourselves. I've made it pretty obvious that I'm keen on seeing all the NZ wildlife I can, so we were off to the albatross sanctuary. Unfortunately it costs a pretty penny to get in, and I ain't no tourist chump. Fortunately you can stand outside the gates and there's a pretty spectacular view there. We didn't see any albatross, but there was a penguin and roughly a million seagulls.

The freaky alien looking things hanging off the rocks is actually this crazy type of kelp. The penguin we saw dove into them and was never seen again :(

Cliffjumping would be cool. if it weren't guaranteed to be cold as all hell.

Afterwards, dinner and waiting for Mirri to return so we could rest up in preparation for Queenstown. She regaled us with stories of flamboyantly gay men (did I mention this was a civil union between two dudes? Way to go New Zealand!) raving about her and her hat. We discussed travel plans, itineraries, and how terrible waking up at 7 was going to be.
A mildly fitful sleep later, the house had a cat and apparently I had taken over its bed, and we were on the road!

I wish I could say I knew a single thing about this church, or even what city it was in, but I don't. Deal with it.

The beautiful township of Rocks Berg. Or Roxburgh as they claim.

Road trips, is there anything finer? It is the last shining bastion of hope in this facebook/twitterverse of fake friends and slight acquaintances. A true test of friendship, as you'll either come out wanting to kill one another or wishing that you could just all drive forever. Pack a car full of kids, send them along with only the slightest of agendas and watch the bonding commence. Stopping at gigantic plastic fruits on the side of the road (this actually happened), taking a half hour detour just to see the worlds largest nickel (soz Sudbury, I ain't doin that shiz) and other ridiculous things suddenly seem like such good ideas. Food tastes better when your dinner table is the hood of a car, and you gain a sudden appreciation for being able to stretch your legs. I could honestly go on for days, but I'll just cut myself short. I just hope you come away with the sudden desire to go on a wild and reckless road trip.

Anyways, we passed through a variety of little towns, sampled various culinary delights and stopped anywhere we found even remotely interesting. That said, it probably took us 6 hours to make our way from Dunedin to Queenstown. Not too shabby. One of our last stops on the way into town was the bungee jump, the World's First Bungee Jump! It was fun to watch, but at $189 a pop it didn't really sell me, y'know? I wanna get more bang for my buck, maybe something a little higher. Maybe Queenstown will have something a little more interesting.

That said, it looks like a pretty sweet job.

Not me. Unfortunately.

Queenstown, A.K.A. Kiwi-Whistler. What a tourist extravaganza! I can honestly say the only two Kiwi accents I heard over the two days were my traveling companions. I kind of missed foreigners, it's kind of rad to laugh at Germans behind their back because they sound funny. Aw, I miss that stuff. I hate being the foreign one...but then again I love it too. Its really fun having your entire world be new again, to annoy your friends with questions about brands of chips or how to catch the bus. We grabbed a beer at Mirri's new favorite (and my new least favorite) place, the Pig and Whistle. Once we were rested properly, we decided to get productive and hit the information booth in order to inquire about number 1 on my bucket list: a threesome skydiving. I booked myself onto a plane for the next morning, and couldn't stop grinning for the next 24 hours. We decided to fill our hours until nightfall with a gondola ride, a couple of luge races and some delicious eats.

The view from the gondola, don't look down!

It's like Mario Kart, but in real life.

So, the one strike for the trip came at nightfall. If you have the choice of saving $20 and sleeping in the car, or paying to stay in the backpackers, pick the option that provides you with a bed and more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep. I don't think my neck will ever forgive me. And to think that I thought I was getting the sweet deal with calling the back seat. Cars here are absolutely minuscule compared to back home, so I was essentially sleeping in a clown car, with two seats directly on top of me and my legs pretzel'd into oblivion. I'm not afraid to admit that at times I prayed for death that night. Maybe something simple like a meteor crushing the car, or maybe a brain aneurysm. I suppose I have to be thankful for surviving though, as it allowed me to live on and do the most ridiculous thing I've ever thought of.

Suit up! I gotta admit, flightsuits are pretty ballin.

Was I scared? Nah, not at all. Well, maybe a little but I was way too jacked up on adrenaline to consider it. Mirri and Lily were my cheerleaders on the ground and managed to snap a couple shots of me coming down. I last minute switched into the 15000 foot (dat's a lotta feet!) option and was called in to suit myself up. I was introduced to Ralph, a real rad dude from South Africa who would be jumping with me, no solos yet! When I was getting zipped up into the jumpsuit was probably when reality kicked in. I was gonna get in a plane, go up to 15 THOUSAND feet and then jump out? What? I mused a little on how crazy people are, willing to go against every single evolutionary impulse in order to have some fun. We all got loaded into the plane, 9 of us sitting basically lap-sies on one another and started the ascent. It was loud, cramped, and you could feel the tension in the air as the three newbies amongst our crew (plus 3 photographers, plus 3 actual jumpers) tried to steel ourselves, but what a view! Everything kind of melted away once I looked out over the Remarkables (at first it sounds like a goofy name, but then I realize that we called ours the "Rockies". Face it, explorers aren't exactly geniuses when it comes to naming things.). From the ground, you only see the face of the mountains, but when you're up that high you really get a feeling of how insignificant we are compared to the world around us. It was nothing but snowy peaks all the way to the horizon in almost every direction. No wonder it became such a resort town.
Ralph had been keeping me posted on the altitude as we climbed, and once we hit 15000 feet the air had literally turned electric. I would be the last to jump, and watched in anticipation as the plane slowly emptied. While you don't actually get to physically jump from the plane, as the trained expert strapped to you does that while you hang in the void, you do get the most intense feeling of a roller coaster cresting that big hill. You're unsure of when you're actually going to start falling, and every little twitch feels like the big one.  It must have only been 3 seconds hanging out that door, but it could have been days. And then suddenly we just glided forward, it didn't even feel like a jump, but instead like we were a puppet whose strings had been cut. It was amazing how quickly 45 seconds of freefall went. I had turned my head down for a moment and experienced 200kph winds flood my lungs. I just wanted to look around forever, the ground was rushing up to meet us and I could truly imagine how the birds must feel. Forgive me if I come across as emotional, but this was literally a spiritual experience. I cannot recommend skydiving enough to anyone who is tempted to give it a try.
And all of a sudden, the chute got pulled, and we were yanked back upwards, only to begin drifting back down. Except drifting down in a parachute isn't as leisurely as it sounds. You're still falling, fast, but not so fast that you're about to make a person pancake. Ralph showed me how to turn left and right, and how to do a wingover. Essentially a left followed by a sharp right, or vice versa, creating a barrel roll type effect. We did a half dozen of these and then plummeted down towards the landing field. I was warned that we'd most likely land on our asses, which we did, and we skidded maybe 15 feet before coming to a complete stop. My heart rate has never been the same.

I know you can't tell, but that's me up there! And some other dude, but mostly me!

Nice and easy.

After landing, and my obligatory victory lap, I just couldn't even put simple sentences together. I was still up there, and would remain there for the rest of the day. I've never enjoyed something so thoroughly as that jump. It's unfortunate the video and picture packages were so damned expensive, I would have loved to be able to relive it. Then again, I figure I can just do another jump sometime, it must get damned addictive. Makes sense for the guys working there, what a job that would be.
The rest of the trip after that was just a blur, all you need to know is we arrived home save and sound. I noshed on a lot of south island delicacies such as cheese rolls (yet another traditional NZ food that involves white bread). And Mirri and I were (almost) sick of each other by the time we caught our flight back.

Halloween was yesterday (well today actually, but we went out yesterday) and I sure put a doozy of a costume together. But we'll come to that another time ok? Thanks for tuning in.

Yours at 200kph from 15000 feet,
The Talented Mr. Fisher

Oh no you Dunedin't! (Part 1 of 2)

Y'know, I've been feeling recently that I've been waiting for something to happen. Or for myself to realize something grand, something that tells me about myself or maybe just what the heck I'm doing here. Sure I've been having fun, but whenever you make a massive decision such as moving overseas for a year, you can't help but wonder if you made the right decision. Right?
Well, I reckon I've done good for myself coming here. The last week has been pretty solid proof.

So Thursday was my first run-in with the Sisters of Saint Rupertsberg at (where else...?) MightyX2. Now if I was just trying to come across as a nice friend, I'd say "Gee-Golly-Gosh! Miriam's band sure is super!". But I'm not doing that. I'm coming across as an actual objective fan of music, which is why I'm saying "Shit-Goddamn! Those chicks were effing amazing!" Seriously. If you're reading this and haven't seen them play, that means you live in Canada and too bad you're missing out. Everyone was at the show and they can attest to how amazing it was.
Also amazing that night were these:

Arts and crafts with Miriam and Elliot. (Not for kids)

This is just like that episode of Weird Science all over again.

And while we're on the topic of Arts and Crafts, here's a little something I put together for Phylli's roller-derby game:

Goregasm 3:16 reads "Thou shalt remaineth in yon penaltie box for no less than three minutes. So sayeth the Ref."

Seriously, Phylli must have spent half the game in the "Sin Bin", but the night was a riot regardless. Derby is a sport I can get behind, but man is it hard to understand from way up in the nosebleeds. We basically spent the game yelling ourselves hoarse, laughing at our ridiculous signs and being "Those guys/girls".

I can't remember what Mirri threw at me here, all I know is that my head went Back and to the left, back and to the left.

Yeah, derby is totally sweet. Apparently I can't play for some reason or another though. Probably something to do with citizenship.

Back to thursday night (good God I've got some catching up to do. I think this will have to be part 1 of 2. Yep, it is now.), honestly what an amazing night. I regret forgetting the camera, but that's all.
Friday we hit up Disasteradio, who looked like Chris-a-Riffic's long lost brother, and played like the devil himself. I haven't been so sweaty in a long time, but then again, take a look at D-Rad for yourself and tell me who's worse:

It's called THE SHEEN. And only one in a hundred men has it.

More wild dancing, more craziness, more more more. Almost to excess...but not. Why?
Because I had a plane to catch at 8 the next morning. OOF.
In spite of being a couple of reckless ones, Mirri and I miraculously managed to catch our flight. Don't we just look fab?

Kia Ora bitchezzzz

Party like a Rockstar? Fly like a G6? Why not both!

So that leads us up to at least the beginning of the Dunedin adventure. Tune in later for the exciting conclusion. And sheep! Millions of sheep!

Yours for a nominal fee,
The Talented Mr. Fisher

Decisions, decisions.

So I'm somewhat settled, I've got a roof over my head, friends around me, food in my belly, and hopefully by the end of the week a job (more on this later). This means I can sit back, relax and let NZ come to me right?

AW HELL NAW!

I gotta get out there, see things! Do stuff!

Luckily, we're entering into the best season of the year...no not summer. And certainly not winter (remember? I ran away from that stuff).

It's Festival season. (Not to be confused with Festivus) Let's look at the offerings shall we? Or at least just the ones that I've taken into consideration.

There is the infamous Big Day Out, or as I have called it: Why Didn't This Happen When I was 17?
Headliners of note: Tool, Rammstein, M.I.A., Iggy and the Stooges,
So this is interesting, two bands I would have killed to see back in high school, one I've seen and have recently gotten over (sorry folks, but MAYA didn't really grab me) and a legend in the flesh. Unfortunately I'm not as much of an Iggy fan as Sick Boy or Rents so that only has passing appeal.
Verdict: Meh. (17 year old Elliot however, just shat his pants)
Undercarders of note: Lupe Fiasco, Deftones, The Black Keys, LCD Soundsystem, A Primal Scream, Ed Sharpe, Die Antwoord, Andrew W.K., Crystal Castles, Ratatat, Pnau. Nothing much else.
Again, a band I would have given anything to see when I was a wee one (Deftones), it's like they're trying to taunt me or something. Lupe has been impressing me lately, especially with the ChildRebelSoldier stuff with Kanye. James Murphy was responsible for the single greatest moment of my life at Sasquatch last year. Primal Scream is kind of a passing interest, no love here for Die Antwoord, Crystal Castles is also of the mild interest as I've heard lots about how shit they can be live. Out of the entire list, I guess I'd love to see Ed Sharpe again, and Andrew W.K. seriously knows how to bring the ruckus and I'm interested to see if he's changed gears since admitting he was created by corporate types.
Verdict: Again, an unfortunate meh. Even 17 year old Elliot is on the fence.

Overall: Not this year my friend. (Sidenote: Seeing Nick Cave in Grinderman in his native land would be pretty ballin though)

On to the next one...Laneway! Now this is a festival I can get behind, BEHOLD!
(not really sure who counts as a headliner so I'll just list this as must sees and wanna sees)
Must sees: !!!, Beach House, Cut Copy, Les Savy Fav, Local Natives, Two Door Cinema Club, Warpaint, Yeasayer.
Uh-oh, I'm in trouble. As in a plane ticket to Melbourne full of trouble (I just can't do the Auckland date as it's missing LSF, Cut Copy and Local Natives. Unacceptable.). This list could have easily included all the bands below, but I'm being reasonable here y'know? You never get to see everything you want to, so you have to narrow it down. I haven't really narrowed anything down here though, so I expect schedule conflicts. Oh well, there's dust on my diamond wah wah. Half these bands I've seen before, and loved to death: !!!, LSF, Local Natives, Warpaint. The other half is bands that have somehow eluded me, but NO LONGER!
Verdict: This is the Double Rainbow of festivals.

Wanna sees: Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, Blonde Redhead, Deerhunter, Foals, Holy Fuck and Menomena.
Damn this festival is loaded for just a single day. Again, I'm in serious trouble.
Verdict: I don't think I have enough ears for this one.

Overall: Deffo going to this one, tickets go on sale in two days. All that remains is a plane ticket to Melbourne and we're in business. Major props to my buddy Zak who informed me of this lovely little shindig, and who will be coming down from Brisbane and experiencing this with me:



Yeah, that's hot.
Supermegabonuspoints go to the fact that I may just be able to meet up with KP and Trav whilst in Melb. How about dem apples?

The third and final festival on the radar: Camp A Low Hum.
Now, I'm accustomed to camping style festivals, so this is definitely on my list. I know nothing of the acts, but almost everyone in the house is going, ergo fun regardless. It also differs from the other festivals in spirit:

Campus A Low Hum, or CALH was previously known as Camp A Low Hum and is my quest to create the world’s most unique, considerate and musically astonishing festival. At its very core is a want to create an event that I would actually enjoy myself. This means: BYO, being able to come and go as I please, a diverse range of music, intimate shows, multiple environments, shaded areas, grassy areas, interesting non-musical activities, non-clashing schedules and not being bombarded with advertising and a constant sound battering.

Sounds good don't it? I figure it's a triple threat of seeing some rad bands that I'd never see otherwise, a good way to see more of New Zealand, and finally one hell of a party. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I should be making this one.

That's it so far on the festival front, and to say the least I'm effing stoked.

So, how the heck am I supposed to pay for all this fun huh? I may have finally locked up the job. I was going to explain more, but don't want to jinx it so you'll all just have to hypothesize amongst yourselves (i.e. mom) and tune in by the end of the week. (god in heaven help me if I don't have something by then)

Here's a little inspirational ditty that was in my head today for y'all...



With love and desperation,
The Talented Mr. Fisher

dis'n'dat

Firstly:




This is either the greatest or gayest thing that my eyes and ears have ever graced. I'll have to investigate more to see how I actually feel.

Secondly, I don't think I ever informed all y'all about my Tumblr. Mind you the odd image might be unsafe for workspaces and young eyes (sorry Jody!), but generally I keep it real PG over there.
You can find it at:
http://ilkandkin.tumblr.com/
And it's just the random images, vids, stories etc that are just a lil too morsel sized to be posting up on here.

Another thing, I've got this trip down to the south island with Miriam coming up, and we're gonna be in Dunedin (DOON E DIN, I just said Dune Din and everyone laughed at me). And while there, I figured a great way to see a whole lotta NZ scenery really fast would be skydiving! So unless Mimzy chickens out, we're gon be jumping out of a plane at some number of thousands of feet and really really hoping that we live to tell the tale! So if any of you start having really bad ominous dreams about me, or falling, or maybe parachutes stuffed with cutlery, LET ME KNOW! I don't wanna hear "I told you so..." in the afterlife.

Seeya later kidlins, here's a track that's been on repeat for me, as I most definitely "Lost in the World". I loooooooove the Gil-Scott Heron bit at the end, that dude has got passion.



Peace,
The Talented Mr. Fisher