Oh no you Dunedin't! (Part 2 of 2)

Welp, here we are with the promised part 2. It occurred to me that the best part of breaking something up into parts is that you do less in one sitting, and the worst part is that you're obligated to finish what you started.
WAIT! Don't go!
It's not that I don't want to tell you all about the trip, its just that I lost my steam. I should have just kept writing til 3 am. Let's see if I can recapture the magic. Maybe some pictures will jog my memory.
(I apologize in advance if I'm coming off as that uncle that keeps coming by with slides of his vacation in Tahiti. The one who immediately upon arrival asks if you've got anything in the fridge and then puts his feet up on the coffee table. I'm not trying to be "that guy". I'm just working off the old [picture=thousandwords] bit. this saves me a lot of work.)

The first of many many many sheep I saw. Eventually I had tired myself out in the backseat from "Awwwwwwwww"-ing too much.

So we landed with Phillip (Miriam's bro-ski) and Kate (his ladyfriend) in tow, we were promptly greeted at the airport by our guide for the weekend: Lily. Now a quick aside on Lily:

This is one hard-up chick, she will make you sleep in the car, go barefoot and a million other things that a city-boy such as myself is terribly terribly uncomfortable with. However, this does not breed resentment, but the very opposite. She hippie-charmed her way into my heart over the course of the weekend and I can proudly say I now have friends in multiple NZ cities.

Lily's feet. Not shown: Lily

So we had transportation! The entirety of the South Island was at our command! First stop was the farmers market for an amaaaaaaazing crepe (made by real french people? madness!) and to meet up with Miriam's folks (Wendy and Leslie, and no, she doesn't have two moms). Things got a bit muddled for a bit and there was a quick round of pass-the-Elliot. And I finally decided upon heading out with Miriam and mum. In hindsight, maybe I should have headed with Lily, Phillip and Kate. The next 5 hours was a literal train of dresses, hats, shoes, more dresses, shopping shopping shopping. I managed to occupy myself by having at least 3 coffees around town (this place has turned me into an addict!) and reading whatever magazines the stores had on hand, I now know everything that you could possibly want to know about the Beckham's ailing marriage. Great.

But, we were victorious! Mirri came out with a boatload of stuff, so did her mom. And Elliot? Too poor to afford anything (more like nothing of note really came up) and caffeine addled. Not bad for a mid-afternoon, hey?

Mirri's new hat and our lovely host/chauffeur Lily.

Plans were made for dinner, and us youngsters were once again free to explore the wonders of Dunedin. And what is more wondrous than the Guinness World Record holding steepest street in the world!

Baldwin Street. I pity any child living at the top, they never asked for this life.

And did we climb that shit? Hells yeah we did! Mirri ran maybe half the distance, I chugged along slowly. All the while playing the Rocky theme in my head. Epic.

The next afternoon was the wedding, so it was up to me and Lily to find adventure by ourselves. I've made it pretty obvious that I'm keen on seeing all the NZ wildlife I can, so we were off to the albatross sanctuary. Unfortunately it costs a pretty penny to get in, and I ain't no tourist chump. Fortunately you can stand outside the gates and there's a pretty spectacular view there. We didn't see any albatross, but there was a penguin and roughly a million seagulls.

The freaky alien looking things hanging off the rocks is actually this crazy type of kelp. The penguin we saw dove into them and was never seen again :(

Cliffjumping would be cool. if it weren't guaranteed to be cold as all hell.

Afterwards, dinner and waiting for Mirri to return so we could rest up in preparation for Queenstown. She regaled us with stories of flamboyantly gay men (did I mention this was a civil union between two dudes? Way to go New Zealand!) raving about her and her hat. We discussed travel plans, itineraries, and how terrible waking up at 7 was going to be.
A mildly fitful sleep later, the house had a cat and apparently I had taken over its bed, and we were on the road!

I wish I could say I knew a single thing about this church, or even what city it was in, but I don't. Deal with it.

The beautiful township of Rocks Berg. Or Roxburgh as they claim.

Road trips, is there anything finer? It is the last shining bastion of hope in this facebook/twitterverse of fake friends and slight acquaintances. A true test of friendship, as you'll either come out wanting to kill one another or wishing that you could just all drive forever. Pack a car full of kids, send them along with only the slightest of agendas and watch the bonding commence. Stopping at gigantic plastic fruits on the side of the road (this actually happened), taking a half hour detour just to see the worlds largest nickel (soz Sudbury, I ain't doin that shiz) and other ridiculous things suddenly seem like such good ideas. Food tastes better when your dinner table is the hood of a car, and you gain a sudden appreciation for being able to stretch your legs. I could honestly go on for days, but I'll just cut myself short. I just hope you come away with the sudden desire to go on a wild and reckless road trip.

Anyways, we passed through a variety of little towns, sampled various culinary delights and stopped anywhere we found even remotely interesting. That said, it probably took us 6 hours to make our way from Dunedin to Queenstown. Not too shabby. One of our last stops on the way into town was the bungee jump, the World's First Bungee Jump! It was fun to watch, but at $189 a pop it didn't really sell me, y'know? I wanna get more bang for my buck, maybe something a little higher. Maybe Queenstown will have something a little more interesting.

That said, it looks like a pretty sweet job.

Not me. Unfortunately.

Queenstown, A.K.A. Kiwi-Whistler. What a tourist extravaganza! I can honestly say the only two Kiwi accents I heard over the two days were my traveling companions. I kind of missed foreigners, it's kind of rad to laugh at Germans behind their back because they sound funny. Aw, I miss that stuff. I hate being the foreign one...but then again I love it too. Its really fun having your entire world be new again, to annoy your friends with questions about brands of chips or how to catch the bus. We grabbed a beer at Mirri's new favorite (and my new least favorite) place, the Pig and Whistle. Once we were rested properly, we decided to get productive and hit the information booth in order to inquire about number 1 on my bucket list: a threesome skydiving. I booked myself onto a plane for the next morning, and couldn't stop grinning for the next 24 hours. We decided to fill our hours until nightfall with a gondola ride, a couple of luge races and some delicious eats.

The view from the gondola, don't look down!

It's like Mario Kart, but in real life.

So, the one strike for the trip came at nightfall. If you have the choice of saving $20 and sleeping in the car, or paying to stay in the backpackers, pick the option that provides you with a bed and more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep. I don't think my neck will ever forgive me. And to think that I thought I was getting the sweet deal with calling the back seat. Cars here are absolutely minuscule compared to back home, so I was essentially sleeping in a clown car, with two seats directly on top of me and my legs pretzel'd into oblivion. I'm not afraid to admit that at times I prayed for death that night. Maybe something simple like a meteor crushing the car, or maybe a brain aneurysm. I suppose I have to be thankful for surviving though, as it allowed me to live on and do the most ridiculous thing I've ever thought of.

Suit up! I gotta admit, flightsuits are pretty ballin.

Was I scared? Nah, not at all. Well, maybe a little but I was way too jacked up on adrenaline to consider it. Mirri and Lily were my cheerleaders on the ground and managed to snap a couple shots of me coming down. I last minute switched into the 15000 foot (dat's a lotta feet!) option and was called in to suit myself up. I was introduced to Ralph, a real rad dude from South Africa who would be jumping with me, no solos yet! When I was getting zipped up into the jumpsuit was probably when reality kicked in. I was gonna get in a plane, go up to 15 THOUSAND feet and then jump out? What? I mused a little on how crazy people are, willing to go against every single evolutionary impulse in order to have some fun. We all got loaded into the plane, 9 of us sitting basically lap-sies on one another and started the ascent. It was loud, cramped, and you could feel the tension in the air as the three newbies amongst our crew (plus 3 photographers, plus 3 actual jumpers) tried to steel ourselves, but what a view! Everything kind of melted away once I looked out over the Remarkables (at first it sounds like a goofy name, but then I realize that we called ours the "Rockies". Face it, explorers aren't exactly geniuses when it comes to naming things.). From the ground, you only see the face of the mountains, but when you're up that high you really get a feeling of how insignificant we are compared to the world around us. It was nothing but snowy peaks all the way to the horizon in almost every direction. No wonder it became such a resort town.
Ralph had been keeping me posted on the altitude as we climbed, and once we hit 15000 feet the air had literally turned electric. I would be the last to jump, and watched in anticipation as the plane slowly emptied. While you don't actually get to physically jump from the plane, as the trained expert strapped to you does that while you hang in the void, you do get the most intense feeling of a roller coaster cresting that big hill. You're unsure of when you're actually going to start falling, and every little twitch feels like the big one.  It must have only been 3 seconds hanging out that door, but it could have been days. And then suddenly we just glided forward, it didn't even feel like a jump, but instead like we were a puppet whose strings had been cut. It was amazing how quickly 45 seconds of freefall went. I had turned my head down for a moment and experienced 200kph winds flood my lungs. I just wanted to look around forever, the ground was rushing up to meet us and I could truly imagine how the birds must feel. Forgive me if I come across as emotional, but this was literally a spiritual experience. I cannot recommend skydiving enough to anyone who is tempted to give it a try.
And all of a sudden, the chute got pulled, and we were yanked back upwards, only to begin drifting back down. Except drifting down in a parachute isn't as leisurely as it sounds. You're still falling, fast, but not so fast that you're about to make a person pancake. Ralph showed me how to turn left and right, and how to do a wingover. Essentially a left followed by a sharp right, or vice versa, creating a barrel roll type effect. We did a half dozen of these and then plummeted down towards the landing field. I was warned that we'd most likely land on our asses, which we did, and we skidded maybe 15 feet before coming to a complete stop. My heart rate has never been the same.

I know you can't tell, but that's me up there! And some other dude, but mostly me!

Nice and easy.

After landing, and my obligatory victory lap, I just couldn't even put simple sentences together. I was still up there, and would remain there for the rest of the day. I've never enjoyed something so thoroughly as that jump. It's unfortunate the video and picture packages were so damned expensive, I would have loved to be able to relive it. Then again, I figure I can just do another jump sometime, it must get damned addictive. Makes sense for the guys working there, what a job that would be.
The rest of the trip after that was just a blur, all you need to know is we arrived home save and sound. I noshed on a lot of south island delicacies such as cheese rolls (yet another traditional NZ food that involves white bread). And Mirri and I were (almost) sick of each other by the time we caught our flight back.

Halloween was yesterday (well today actually, but we went out yesterday) and I sure put a doozy of a costume together. But we'll come to that another time ok? Thanks for tuning in.

Yours at 200kph from 15000 feet,
The Talented Mr. Fisher

Oh no you Dunedin't! (Part 1 of 2)

Y'know, I've been feeling recently that I've been waiting for something to happen. Or for myself to realize something grand, something that tells me about myself or maybe just what the heck I'm doing here. Sure I've been having fun, but whenever you make a massive decision such as moving overseas for a year, you can't help but wonder if you made the right decision. Right?
Well, I reckon I've done good for myself coming here. The last week has been pretty solid proof.

So Thursday was my first run-in with the Sisters of Saint Rupertsberg at (where else...?) MightyX2. Now if I was just trying to come across as a nice friend, I'd say "Gee-Golly-Gosh! Miriam's band sure is super!". But I'm not doing that. I'm coming across as an actual objective fan of music, which is why I'm saying "Shit-Goddamn! Those chicks were effing amazing!" Seriously. If you're reading this and haven't seen them play, that means you live in Canada and too bad you're missing out. Everyone was at the show and they can attest to how amazing it was.
Also amazing that night were these:

Arts and crafts with Miriam and Elliot. (Not for kids)

This is just like that episode of Weird Science all over again.

And while we're on the topic of Arts and Crafts, here's a little something I put together for Phylli's roller-derby game:

Goregasm 3:16 reads "Thou shalt remaineth in yon penaltie box for no less than three minutes. So sayeth the Ref."

Seriously, Phylli must have spent half the game in the "Sin Bin", but the night was a riot regardless. Derby is a sport I can get behind, but man is it hard to understand from way up in the nosebleeds. We basically spent the game yelling ourselves hoarse, laughing at our ridiculous signs and being "Those guys/girls".

I can't remember what Mirri threw at me here, all I know is that my head went Back and to the left, back and to the left.

Yeah, derby is totally sweet. Apparently I can't play for some reason or another though. Probably something to do with citizenship.

Back to thursday night (good God I've got some catching up to do. I think this will have to be part 1 of 2. Yep, it is now.), honestly what an amazing night. I regret forgetting the camera, but that's all.
Friday we hit up Disasteradio, who looked like Chris-a-Riffic's long lost brother, and played like the devil himself. I haven't been so sweaty in a long time, but then again, take a look at D-Rad for yourself and tell me who's worse:

It's called THE SHEEN. And only one in a hundred men has it.

More wild dancing, more craziness, more more more. Almost to excess...but not. Why?
Because I had a plane to catch at 8 the next morning. OOF.
In spite of being a couple of reckless ones, Mirri and I miraculously managed to catch our flight. Don't we just look fab?

Kia Ora bitchezzzz

Party like a Rockstar? Fly like a G6? Why not both!

So that leads us up to at least the beginning of the Dunedin adventure. Tune in later for the exciting conclusion. And sheep! Millions of sheep!

Yours for a nominal fee,
The Talented Mr. Fisher

Decisions, decisions.

So I'm somewhat settled, I've got a roof over my head, friends around me, food in my belly, and hopefully by the end of the week a job (more on this later). This means I can sit back, relax and let NZ come to me right?

AW HELL NAW!

I gotta get out there, see things! Do stuff!

Luckily, we're entering into the best season of the year...no not summer. And certainly not winter (remember? I ran away from that stuff).

It's Festival season. (Not to be confused with Festivus) Let's look at the offerings shall we? Or at least just the ones that I've taken into consideration.

There is the infamous Big Day Out, or as I have called it: Why Didn't This Happen When I was 17?
Headliners of note: Tool, Rammstein, M.I.A., Iggy and the Stooges,
So this is interesting, two bands I would have killed to see back in high school, one I've seen and have recently gotten over (sorry folks, but MAYA didn't really grab me) and a legend in the flesh. Unfortunately I'm not as much of an Iggy fan as Sick Boy or Rents so that only has passing appeal.
Verdict: Meh. (17 year old Elliot however, just shat his pants)
Undercarders of note: Lupe Fiasco, Deftones, The Black Keys, LCD Soundsystem, A Primal Scream, Ed Sharpe, Die Antwoord, Andrew W.K., Crystal Castles, Ratatat, Pnau. Nothing much else.
Again, a band I would have given anything to see when I was a wee one (Deftones), it's like they're trying to taunt me or something. Lupe has been impressing me lately, especially with the ChildRebelSoldier stuff with Kanye. James Murphy was responsible for the single greatest moment of my life at Sasquatch last year. Primal Scream is kind of a passing interest, no love here for Die Antwoord, Crystal Castles is also of the mild interest as I've heard lots about how shit they can be live. Out of the entire list, I guess I'd love to see Ed Sharpe again, and Andrew W.K. seriously knows how to bring the ruckus and I'm interested to see if he's changed gears since admitting he was created by corporate types.
Verdict: Again, an unfortunate meh. Even 17 year old Elliot is on the fence.

Overall: Not this year my friend. (Sidenote: Seeing Nick Cave in Grinderman in his native land would be pretty ballin though)

On to the next one...Laneway! Now this is a festival I can get behind, BEHOLD!
(not really sure who counts as a headliner so I'll just list this as must sees and wanna sees)
Must sees: !!!, Beach House, Cut Copy, Les Savy Fav, Local Natives, Two Door Cinema Club, Warpaint, Yeasayer.
Uh-oh, I'm in trouble. As in a plane ticket to Melbourne full of trouble (I just can't do the Auckland date as it's missing LSF, Cut Copy and Local Natives. Unacceptable.). This list could have easily included all the bands below, but I'm being reasonable here y'know? You never get to see everything you want to, so you have to narrow it down. I haven't really narrowed anything down here though, so I expect schedule conflicts. Oh well, there's dust on my diamond wah wah. Half these bands I've seen before, and loved to death: !!!, LSF, Local Natives, Warpaint. The other half is bands that have somehow eluded me, but NO LONGER!
Verdict: This is the Double Rainbow of festivals.

Wanna sees: Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, Blonde Redhead, Deerhunter, Foals, Holy Fuck and Menomena.
Damn this festival is loaded for just a single day. Again, I'm in serious trouble.
Verdict: I don't think I have enough ears for this one.

Overall: Deffo going to this one, tickets go on sale in two days. All that remains is a plane ticket to Melbourne and we're in business. Major props to my buddy Zak who informed me of this lovely little shindig, and who will be coming down from Brisbane and experiencing this with me:



Yeah, that's hot.
Supermegabonuspoints go to the fact that I may just be able to meet up with KP and Trav whilst in Melb. How about dem apples?

The third and final festival on the radar: Camp A Low Hum.
Now, I'm accustomed to camping style festivals, so this is definitely on my list. I know nothing of the acts, but almost everyone in the house is going, ergo fun regardless. It also differs from the other festivals in spirit:

Campus A Low Hum, or CALH was previously known as Camp A Low Hum and is my quest to create the world’s most unique, considerate and musically astonishing festival. At its very core is a want to create an event that I would actually enjoy myself. This means: BYO, being able to come and go as I please, a diverse range of music, intimate shows, multiple environments, shaded areas, grassy areas, interesting non-musical activities, non-clashing schedules and not being bombarded with advertising and a constant sound battering.

Sounds good don't it? I figure it's a triple threat of seeing some rad bands that I'd never see otherwise, a good way to see more of New Zealand, and finally one hell of a party. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I should be making this one.

That's it so far on the festival front, and to say the least I'm effing stoked.

So, how the heck am I supposed to pay for all this fun huh? I may have finally locked up the job. I was going to explain more, but don't want to jinx it so you'll all just have to hypothesize amongst yourselves (i.e. mom) and tune in by the end of the week. (god in heaven help me if I don't have something by then)

Here's a little inspirational ditty that was in my head today for y'all...



With love and desperation,
The Talented Mr. Fisher

dis'n'dat

Firstly:




This is either the greatest or gayest thing that my eyes and ears have ever graced. I'll have to investigate more to see how I actually feel.

Secondly, I don't think I ever informed all y'all about my Tumblr. Mind you the odd image might be unsafe for workspaces and young eyes (sorry Jody!), but generally I keep it real PG over there.
You can find it at:
http://ilkandkin.tumblr.com/
And it's just the random images, vids, stories etc that are just a lil too morsel sized to be posting up on here.

Another thing, I've got this trip down to the south island with Miriam coming up, and we're gonna be in Dunedin (DOON E DIN, I just said Dune Din and everyone laughed at me). And while there, I figured a great way to see a whole lotta NZ scenery really fast would be skydiving! So unless Mimzy chickens out, we're gon be jumping out of a plane at some number of thousands of feet and really really hoping that we live to tell the tale! So if any of you start having really bad ominous dreams about me, or falling, or maybe parachutes stuffed with cutlery, LET ME KNOW! I don't wanna hear "I told you so..." in the afterlife.

Seeya later kidlins, here's a track that's been on repeat for me, as I most definitely "Lost in the World". I loooooooove the Gil-Scott Heron bit at the end, that dude has got passion.



Peace,
The Talented Mr. Fisher

homesickness: a picture essay

So what's new kidlins? First off, nobody panic, but I've managed to get a pretty good view of the New Zealand public health system. Once again, those dastardly tonsils have struck and have managed to get the best of me. I'm ok, insurance is covering it (THANK GOD) and really all that happened was I got to get some sweet as hospital food (oh my god it was awful, I'm honestly considering not checking the vegetarian option on the next flight/hospital form. I'd much rather have some dry-ass turkey or mystery-meatloaf than another painful excursion into "The worst possible thing we can make involving chickpeas"-Land.) There's a picture on my phone reminding me of the ordeal. Haunting.
But yeah, I'm alive and well. Don't worry a second folks!

So I've been gone for almost a full month, crazy hey? It's made me wax a little poetic and think about all the things I took for granted in Vancouver that I now miss a whole bunch. Here's some GIS'd up images of a lot of them.

Things I Miss Real Real Bad-like

Old Dutch and Hawkins Cheezies. Errr...I mean, my lady and my bestie of course.

The 2010 Winners of Couple of the Year.

These Knuckleheads.

Mi familia. EXTREME EXTENDED EDITION

Mama-mia! I had to really go into the vault to find a pic she won't murder me for publishing.

  

Things I Miss About VanCity

HAHA jokezzzz. Ok I'll be srs.

OK Seriously this time: Things I Miss About VanCity

THAT'S NO MOON!

Sometimes you just need a giant neon sign to remind you.

Ghetto Slice. I mean sure, its nice getting a grilled cheese at 2 am for 2 bux (Did I mention this yet?). But nothing really tops hitting Fatih's or 4 Bros for some serious eatz.

This is kind of a double whammy and a double edged sword. Coffee here is reeaaaaaal good. And there's like no Starbucks to be seen. BUT! I miss me some donuts. Supposedly to get your fix round here you have to go to the Auckland Airport to go to Dunkin Donuts? NO TY

THA HOOD

Even if it's gonna look just like this when I get back. Waitaminute. It looks like 2 pictures above now doesn't it? Shit, worlds are colliding.

I finally found a country where the money is more monopoly-like than ours! The real confusing bit is that a 10 is the exact same blue as our 5, so I keep being like yeah I've got a fiver then I'm like aw wait. THIS COUNTRY MAKES ME LOOK STUPID =(

Seeing this all the time =( Man I miss these lil dudes.

 Things I Probably Shouldn't Miss But Do

This Ol' Bullshit Festival. (And yeah I couldn't resist getting a second shot of Science World)

This weekly tragedy. It was hilarious to walk past, harrowing to enter. I feel that upon my return it may finally be time to, in the words of a very wise man Alan Ng: "Embrace the Douchebag" Well, there's Courtenay Place here, and it looks to be similar. Hopefully we can get a team outing and really regret something.

Disclaimer: I have to watch my words here so I don't come off as a total asshole here: But Wellington doesn't really have a homeless population. As someone who's grown up with this constantly and has like any Vancouverite learned to turn that blind eye in order to retain one's sanity while still trying to remain compassionate without becoming a handout machine (as you'll go instant bankrupt if you give a quarter to every person you pass). It's really strange to see this missing. It's sort of like going somewhere and slowly realizing there's no awnings, or maybe fire hydrants. Something that was just part of the scenery is missing, and its eerie. Maybe this means I should volunteer when I get back, maybe it means that I'm jaded. Maybe I am the asshole I'm trying not to come off as. But at least it's gotten me thinking. That's a start.

Maybe I've forgotten the smell, but I miss these cuties. Of course back in Van I was basically the only person who thought they were cute in the first place.

More wildlife. I suppose if I were to compile a list of animal traits I admired it'd start with resourcefulness.

  

That's enough for now I suppose. Obviously I could go on for ages. And don't take this post as a "BAWWWWWWWWW I MISS MY MOMMY AND PIZZAAAA WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" As that's not the point. The point is, Vancouver, Canada, and I had some sweet shit going, and sure I miss it. But that's just gonna make it all the sweeter when I get back. Maybe next installation will be a photo expose of some totally sweet but obviously mundane Wellington shizz. I.E. $2 Grilled Cheesez. TWO BUX!

Missing you all like cheap pizza on the steps of science world,

The Talented Mr. Fisher

Addendum: I think maybe I should tack on the list of things I totally don't miss from Vancouver.

THINGS I TOTALLY DON'T MISS FROM VAN-CITY

a.k.a. The Die In A Grease Fire List

This Bullshit. Tiny dogs. Like, seriously. And if you must have one, keep it the hell out of your purse. (Exception: Pugs [BOOPBOOPBOOP])

May God have mercy on us all. I sure hope I don't come back to find Starbucks on the other two corners.

Ok, this was kind of a tough one. But if you're going to take a swing at the everpresent Lululemon, I figure the reusable shopping bag is the most prominent symbol. Firstly, Lululemon and it's ilk singlehandedly set back women's fashion in vancouver by like...6 years or something ridiculous. We just recovered, maybe. The infamous hoodie, the yoga pants, the even worse Man-yoga pants. The fact that everyone in Vancouver wears this stuff when they aren't even going to yoga. GHHHRARRRRRRRRRGH. Man, it's just real unfortunate. That's all. Odd that the 3 things I just listed that I hate are basically all consumed by the same subset of people hey? I might as well toss in SUV's and Sports Cars and call it a day. Eh, another time.

Also, I kind of forgot, but apologies for adding in ads. I figure I might as well try to make a buck while I'm at it. Mom, don't cash my royalty checks until I get back!